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The TERRIBLE Twos

Funny that I should write about the "terrible twos," when I currently do not have any 2 yr. olds in the house, but you shall see where I'm headed. . .

Though our local library refers to them as the "Terrific Twos," most people view this stage in a child's life as quite the opposite - including me! And let me say, my boys all started pushing the boundaries and letting their opinion be heard at various ages. I just want to share our experience and ask that you share any advice you have!

My oldest entered this stage about a month after he turned three. He did not want to go to bed alone, he started telling lies, and developed an "attitude." It seemed to happen overnight, and it only lasted about a month. He was quick to realize that saying, "OK, Mom/Dad" was much better than the alternative - lol! Zack is a "thinker," and I love him for that, I just pray that he doesn't think he is so good that he doesn't need the Lord!

My second son began being defiant at about 15 months, and well, he still is (at age 4!). He knows in his mind that he is doing wrong by saying "no" to Mom or by punching his brother, but his flesh is weak, and he does it anyway. After being disciplined and praying that God will help him, he is always very sorrowful and repentant, but it is just so hard for him to do right. Kyle is a "doer," and I love that about him. I believe that once he is filled with the Holy Spirit, he will be able to do a lot for the Lord!

My youngest son started to push his limits about two months before he turned three. The problem is, sometimes he is just so "stinkin' cute" (as he would say), that he seems to "get away" with his wrong actions. He often will say, "You're beautiful Mommy," just before a brother will run in to complain that he took their toy. Lately, I've been sending him to his room as a form of discipline. Often, when he gets frustrated, he'll fall on the floor and start crying instead of telling me what's wrong. It's as though he can't verbalize the problem, so he just "falls to pieces." Once in his room alone, he calms down within 5 minutes. When he's composed, he'll call for me and say, "I'm all done fussing now, Mom." After that, I let him come out and tell me the problem, and he usually is fine. Evan is a "free spirit" and is happiest when he can make others smile. I pray that the Lord would use him to be an encouragement to others.

I think the most important thing I've learned from the "terrible twos" is that every child is different and therefore, needs to be treated differently. I believe it is very important to have structure in the home and children need to learn to obey authority. Some "act out" because they are really set on doing their own thing while some "act out" due to frustration. It's important to allow children to make choices, but to do so with boundaries. It's not OK with me to allow my child to have a temper tantrum. Children need to learn how to control their frustration and disappointment. What are we teaching children today if they are allowed to "act out" in order to get their way?!? I'm sure many have seen the mom at the store who "gives in" because she is embarrassed by her screaming child. I wonder if that mom realizes that probably 90% of us would rather her stand her ground (and let her child fuss) than teach her child that a "fit" will result in reward.

Raising children is a tough job. Raising them to be responsible, mature, hard-working, God-fearing adults is even tougher! We all need the Lord to help us in this. My oldest is only five. . .so I still have a lot to learn :)

Long time, no see. . .

Wow! Hello blogging world! I have been out of touch for so long, I think I forget how to write - LOL! I figured that now that I'm home with my children all day, I should start to make some time for blogging. It is, after all, a bit of a stress-reliever!

Well, we had a very busy end to our summer! Our first daughter, Jessica Karen, was born on 8/11/11. Shortly after that, my in-laws came for a visit, and then my father stayed with us for a week. As I was recovering from a c-section, it was nice to have some family around to keep me sane :)

Before our "sweet pea" arrived, I was very concerned about the fact that it had been 3 years since we had an infant in the house. After all, my other three boys had been born within 2 1/2 yrs of each other! Well, things have gone smoothly so far because she has been an angel! That may all change, but for now, she sleeps most of the day which allows me time to home school and do all my housework. And, amazingly, my boys have not shown any jealousy! They are always doting on her and begging to hold her. I hope it stays that way for a while. My husband and I adore just looking at her, and I think she may already have him wrapped around her little finger ;)

Of course, I added some pictures of our new little princess. We picked the name Karen for her middle name because that was my mom's first name. Her first name was just a pretty name, on which my husband and I actually agreed :)

Working Mom

I have not written in this blog for quite a long time! I figured I owed any readers (that I may have), an explanation. I am now a mom who works the home, so I have become a bit busy :) I would like to share how I decided to take on a job, especially since I LOVED being able to stay home with my boys.

Back in October 2010, my husband was "laid off" and money became very tight (especially with him not receiving any unemployment compensation). With Christmas on the way, I started applying for PT/temporary jobs so that we could have a nicer Christmas. None of those jobs "panned out." I was a bit disappointed, but realized it must be the Lord's will. After all, I did have plenty of work to do at home, and did not want to pay for child care if a job did open up.

In January of 2011, I received an email from one of the jobs for which I had applied. I decided to set up an interview, and by mid January I was offered the job. Though I had figured that working outside the home would be too much of a hassle, and not worth the effort, there were few reasons why I accepted the position.
1) The job offered free child care for up to 4 hrs per day.
2) The job was temporary.
3) The job offered me flexible hours.
4) The job was within 10 minutes of our home.
5) The job would allow me to be off my feet (this was important since I am in the middle of a "high risk" pregnancy)

I accepted the job and within a week or two, my husband also accepted a job. His job required him to work nights, so there was another reason why my job worked out for us. It is much easier to keep the house quiet (so my hubby could sleep days) when the boys are not home!

During the months of Feb/Mar I worked about 20 hrs per week. I would go in for two to three hours in the morning and the boys would play in the "child care" room while I worked. When I finished, I would pick up the boys and we would eat lunch in the "family room" at my job. The boys enjoyed this because there is a huge indoor play area. After we were done, I would take the boys home for their nap and then return to work for an hour or two.

Now that things have slowed down for me at work, I only go in for about 10 hrs per week. This means I have no problem taking a day off when my hubby is home (he only works four days per week) or keeping up with my prenatal appointments (which are every 3 weeks). I believe the Lord opened this job so that we could get our finances "back on track" before the next baby comes! I would like to say, whether you are a mom who works IN the home or OUTSIDE the home, ALL moms are busy! I believe taking care of my family is my true "calling" and I would leave my job in a minute if I felt my boys were suffering for it! After all, "Children are an heritage from the Lord..." and my job is only temporary!

High Risk Pregnancy

I remember hearing about women who had "high risk" pregnancies and thought, "Poor ladies. . .they have to stay in bed ALL day and do NOTHING!" I thought "high risk" referred to women who were having multiples, were older, or had some sort of physical disability which would make it hard for them to carry a baby. What did I know?!?!?

Now, on my 5th pregnancy in just over 5 years, I have come to a new understanding. "High risk" can include a variety of factors (of which I have 5 - seems to be a popular number with me, huh?). Thought I would just give a bit of information for those who are curious. Here are my risks.

1) I am over 35. I know, I don't look my age, right? Apparently, women over 35 have a higher occurrence of complications with pregnancy. I am fortunate to know MANY ladies my age who have had healthy babies (thanks for the encouragement, girls!).

2) I have had preeclampsia. Some of the symptoms include a drastic rise in blood pressure, edema (swelling), and blurry vision. During my first and third pregnancies I was induced because of this.

3) I have had preterm labor and delivery (also known as spontaneous labor). With my second son, my blood pressure rose on a Monday and I went into labor on Friday. He came rather quickly at just 34 wks.

4) I have had a stillbirth. Last year, at 20 wks gestation, my baby was stillborn. Thankfully, I have a great dr. who investigated the issue and gave me lots of great information about my 5th risk factor.

5) I have a thrombophilia (called C677T). This is a condition where my body is prone to blood clots and has difficulty absorbing folic acid. Because of this, I need to give myself two shots of Heparin daily, up until 6 weeks after delivery! I also take extra folic acid and iron pills (for my iron-deficient anemia).

Though all of this is a bit overwhelming, I know God is in control. After we lost our baby last year, my hubby asked, "Are we going to try for another?" I answered that if I was not pregnant by the end of 2010, then our family would be complete with three little boys. At the beginning of December I came to terms with not having more children. I was a bit sad, but only because I had a bit of emptiness from losing one.

The Wednesday before Christmas I went to the grocery store and forgot ALL my coupons. I complained to my husband, "I must be losing my mind!" He replied, "You're not pregnant, are you?" Well, wouldn't you know it, he was right. And right before the end of 2010! God listens to our thoughts as well as our specific prayers :)

I would appreciate your prayers as I foresee this as a "difficult" pregnancy (for me and baby). Since I am working, it will be a real issue for me to keep my blood pressure down. And, due to the thrombophilia, my dr. is planning to induce me at 37 wks, so pray I don't have preterm labor again! I appreciate all those who are concerned and look forward to announcing the arrival of our little one by the end of July :)

A Boy After My Own Heart

I am a "saver." Ever since I was little, I enjoyed taking any money I received, putting it in the bank, and letting it sit. . . and earn interest! I don't remember any times when I wanted an item so badly that I wanted to use my "savings" in order to purchase the item!

Now, because of my obsession with saving money, I graduated college without owing any money and also paid at least $3000 toward my own wedding. When my husband and I married, I had enough for us to pay our first, last and security deposit for our first apartment! And after all was said and done, I still had money in CD's! Unfortunately, I am not in the same situation now, but I can assure you, once we have even $1 extra each week, I'll be saving it! :)

That being said, let me tell you about my dear son. My oldest boy, Zack, turned 5 this last week. In some of his birthday cards, he found money. He was soooo excited! My husband let him use one of his money clips, and Zack has been carrying it and sleeping with it ever since. We asked what he wanted to buy with his money, and he immediately told us, "A cowboy hat with a string (so it won't fall off when I ride my horse) and a new holster and gun." The boy knows what he wants! ;)

Well, we found a hat at one store, but no nice holster and gun (and we looked at 5 different stores!). When we got to the register I told him to take out 5 of his dollars to pay for his hat. He looked at his hat. . . he looked at his money. . .he looked at his hat. . . he looked at his money and said, "Five?!?!?" Right then, I saw myself in him! I said, "Honey, you don't have to buy it now. We can wait." He looked up at me and smiled. "OK, I'll leave it here and maybe we can go shopping again next week."

Ahhhh, my legacy lives on. I have "born" a "saver!" See, some people would say that I didn't need to spend any of my cash as a child because I had everything I wanted. Not so. I could see it in my sons eyes. Why spend when you can save? Is a cowboy hat REALLY worth his $5? Now, I'm not sure my other two boys will have the same outlook. . . but I can hope! :)

Activities for Active Boys!

Now I hope my title is not offensive to those who have active little girls, but in my experience, boys "take the cake" when it comes to extra energy. This quality in boys makes winter a difficult time, because my boys are not satisfied with sitting down and using play-do, or sitting down to do a craft, or sitting down to play a game, or even sitting down to watch a movie! They will DO all those things, but not for any length of time. :)

I must admit, I really do miss warm weather. In the summer, my boys play outside at least 3 hrs per day (whether we go to the park, take a walk, or ride bikes), but in the winter - brrrrrr, it's just too cold. A 10 min walk with the dog is about all I can handle! So, due to winter energy build up, I have come up with a few ideas to help "tire out" my little guys.

1) Wrestle. Now this usually involves my husband, but I have been known to toss my boys around for a bit. And I always make sure to tire them out more than tire out myself, or else it would not be worth the trouble! ;)

2) Pillow jumping. This is a favorite of the boys. We have a large, square coffee table, so I lay the mattress from our toddler bed and every pillow in the house around the table. The boys climb up on the table and jump in the pillows - over and over and over again!

3) Exercise. Thanks to my husband, my boys all know how to do push ups and sit ups, so I challenge them to each do 10. Then I lead them in some jumping jacks, hoping on one foot, and marching. Takes a little time for me, but well worth it!

4) Bed jumping. Since my boys have bunk beds, they cannot jump on their bed, and since my husband and I have a sleep number bed, they are not allowed to jump on our investment, so we use the pull out couch! It takes up most of our living room, but the boys enjoy it!

5) Do chores. Now this may not seem fun, but my boys do not yet know that what they are doing is work! LOL! I have them try to carry laundry baskets, vacuum, carry boxes of packed up clothes, put the sheets on the beds (and believe me, putting them on the top bunk is a work out!), or wipe down mirrors and windows.

6) Tickle fights. Now this is pretty self-explanatory. I tickle, they laugh. . . and burn up energy! Fun for mom and boys :)

Now this is not an exhaustive list, but it does give some ideas. I also try to play some active games with them (like "Ring Around the Rosy") and take time to teach them some cooking/baking skills. I know there may come a day when all they want to do is sit on the couch and be lazy, so I'm enjoying there energy while I can