The TERRIBLE Twos

Funny that I should write about the "terrible twos," when I currently do not have any 2 yr. olds in the house, but you shall see where I'm headed. . .

Though our local library refers to them as the "Terrific Twos," most people view this stage in a child's life as quite the opposite - including me! And let me say, my boys all started pushing the boundaries and letting their opinion be heard at various ages. I just want to share our experience and ask that you share any advice you have!

My oldest entered this stage about a month after he turned three. He did not want to go to bed alone, he started telling lies, and developed an "attitude." It seemed to happen overnight, and it only lasted about a month. He was quick to realize that saying, "OK, Mom/Dad" was much better than the alternative - lol! Zack is a "thinker," and I love him for that, I just pray that he doesn't think he is so good that he doesn't need the Lord!

My second son began being defiant at about 15 months, and well, he still is (at age 4!). He knows in his mind that he is doing wrong by saying "no" to Mom or by punching his brother, but his flesh is weak, and he does it anyway. After being disciplined and praying that God will help him, he is always very sorrowful and repentant, but it is just so hard for him to do right. Kyle is a "doer," and I love that about him. I believe that once he is filled with the Holy Spirit, he will be able to do a lot for the Lord!

My youngest son started to push his limits about two months before he turned three. The problem is, sometimes he is just so "stinkin' cute" (as he would say), that he seems to "get away" with his wrong actions. He often will say, "You're beautiful Mommy," just before a brother will run in to complain that he took their toy. Lately, I've been sending him to his room as a form of discipline. Often, when he gets frustrated, he'll fall on the floor and start crying instead of telling me what's wrong. It's as though he can't verbalize the problem, so he just "falls to pieces." Once in his room alone, he calms down within 5 minutes. When he's composed, he'll call for me and say, "I'm all done fussing now, Mom." After that, I let him come out and tell me the problem, and he usually is fine. Evan is a "free spirit" and is happiest when he can make others smile. I pray that the Lord would use him to be an encouragement to others.

I think the most important thing I've learned from the "terrible twos" is that every child is different and therefore, needs to be treated differently. I believe it is very important to have structure in the home and children need to learn to obey authority. Some "act out" because they are really set on doing their own thing while some "act out" due to frustration. It's important to allow children to make choices, but to do so with boundaries. It's not OK with me to allow my child to have a temper tantrum. Children need to learn how to control their frustration and disappointment. What are we teaching children today if they are allowed to "act out" in order to get their way?!? I'm sure many have seen the mom at the store who "gives in" because she is embarrassed by her screaming child. I wonder if that mom realizes that probably 90% of us would rather her stand her ground (and let her child fuss) than teach her child that a "fit" will result in reward.

Raising children is a tough job. Raising them to be responsible, mature, hard-working, God-fearing adults is even tougher! We all need the Lord to help us in this. My oldest is only five. . .so I still have a lot to learn :)