Happy Anniversary to Us!!!

Tomorrow is July 18th, and my hubby and I will be celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary! I can't believe it has been that long! It seems like just yesterday we were "tying the knot." The un-air conditioned church was very hot and one of my brother-in-laws nearly passed out, but overall, everything went well. I'm really glad we have a picture of my dad blowing bubbles as we left the church (it's one of my favorite pics). But my favorite part of the ceremony was Kevin singing to me. . . ahhh, butterflies. . . :)

I thought I would honor Kevin here on my blog. I mean, it could not possibly be easy to live with a loud, bossy, type A, spoiled, only child! He is a bit of a perfectionist himself, but my OCD tendencies would have driven away the weak by now!

My husband and I joke that he grew up "on the other side of the tracks." You see, I grew up in a nice little town where we didn't even lock the doors. He grew up in Lynn.

Anyone who knows about Lynn, knows the nice little saying associated with the city - "Lynn, Lynn, city of sin - you never come out the way you went in." Yep, that just about sums things up! It wasn't unusual for my husband to hear sirens everyday. . .and they ALWAYS locked their doors!

Just as an example of his childhood experiences, let's take Kevin's 5th birthday. My in-laws had moved from Indiana, and were used to people being honest and decent. My mother-in-law planned a simple little birthday party and invited some children from their Lynn neighborhood. The children came, played games, ate cake, watched Kevin open the presents from his parents, and then left with Kevin's presents. That's right. The neighborhood children actually went home with Kevin's birthday presents!!!

As he grew up in the city, he met several "unsavory" characters who were rude, abusive, and just plain mean. What doesn't break you, only makes you stronger, right?!? Well, I would definitely say my husband is emotionally strong. By the world's standards, he was dealt a "bad hand," but, thankfully, he also had some wonderful, godly parents who prayed for him and taught him God's Word. If it wasn't for that, surely he would have led a different path. It is amazing to me that a man who grew up in such a cruel environment can be so loving and caring.

My husband is not too calloused to shed a tear, and is not embarrassed to show affection either. He also has manners. We do not sit around the table and have burping contests (even with 3 boys in the house). I just don't think it's hilarious to pass gas or flick boogers. We want our boys to grow up to be gentlemen, not just older boys!

The other day, as we were getting in the car after shopping, I noticed an older man standing by the car next to us just staring in our direction. I couldn't figure out what was wrong and started to think he was being rather rude. As my husband went to his side of the car, the man mentioned that it was so nice to see that Kevin had opened my door for me. Hmmm, very true. Many husbands don't even think about opening the door for their wife.

Another thing I appreciate about my husband, is that he is clean. Sounds odd, but it really is a big deal. He always showers, wears deodorant, and would never think of leaving the house in sweatpants and flip flops. I love that he always smells so good! Oh, and the fact that he doesn't snore is a big plus too ;)

One of the things that first attracted me to my husband was that he was always willing to listen to me. I'm not the type to "wear my heart upon my sleeve," so it was a minor miracle that I felt so comfortable talking to him . . . about everything! Even now, 14 yrs later, he calls me each day from work and asks how it's going with the kiddos. He doesn't need to do that, but he does it because he cares. I remember, before we had our own children, he would listen to me ramble on and on about the students I taught in school. Poor guy! ;)

Many people can also attest to the fact that my husband is a good worker. Before we ever dated, I remember Kevin coming to our house to split firewood for my dad. He didn't get paid, he just did it to help. It was cold out, but he didn't complain. He has had many jobs where he has had to work in rain, sleet, snow, and heat. I don't know how he does it!

When Kevin was a teenager, he started his first job at Grossman's Lumber. He was in high school and would work after school and on Saturdays. The only thing different that most kids who work at that age, is that he did not get to keep the money he earned. It did not go into a college fund, he did not get to save it for a car, he didn't even use it to buy fast food. He used his money to pay the Christian school tuition for he and his brothers. If I remember correctly, that amount was about $400 per month. I don't know of many teenagers who would do that!

I think I am most thankful for the fact that my husband is a Christian. Our home has high standards compared to most of the world - no cursing, drinking, or smoking for sure, but also, the boys are taught the Bible and the importance of knowing God. I don't have to worry about my husband blaring ungodly music or "slipping up" and swearing in front of the kids. I know he will attend church every time he can (except when at work), and he will always tithe before spending money on other things.

My husband has been by my side for these last 14 yrs, and I pray we have many more years together! He has been very patient with my "know-it-all" attitude and never complains about my cooking ;) He is supportive, dependable, loving, and generous. I love him very much!

Happy Anniversary Honey!

". . . called their name Adam. . ."

Last night I was speaking with a very nice lady, but was a bit bothered when she started talking about her husband in a negative way. It was not a "big" issue she was complaining about. She was just bothered because she liked having short hair, and he liked her hair to be longer.

Big deal.

Honestly, if my husband had a preference, I would cut my hair to suit him. Not because he "made me," but because I love him and he's the one I want to please. As it is, my husband does not seem to have a preference in that area, but does have requests in other areas.

The other day, my husband was mentioning how the Bible says, in Gen. 5:2, that God made Adam and Eve, and blessed them, ". . .and called their name Adam." In other words, God saw Adam and Eve as one being. Two parts of a whole.

If someone were to speak bad about part of you (say your voice or your natural hair color), wouldn't you be offended? Yet, many times, spouses speak ill of each other without giving it a second thought.

Honestly, when I hear someone speak negatively about their spouse, I usually have a poor impression of the person who's doing the speaking. Haven't you ever wondered, "Why did she marry that guy if he's such a jerk?!?"

I know we're far from perfect, but I do believe my husband and I have a good relationship because neither of us makes a habit of speaking ill of the other.

I love my husband! :)

In Memory of My Mom

January is known to be the month of "new beginnings," but I don't always look

forward to this month of the year. When I was 5 years old, my baby brother died in January. When I was 17 years old, my mother died in January. Both are in heaven. . . but both are missed.

I'm writing this post because the end of January marks 20 years that my mother has been gone. I don't want to tell you how her death has affected me, but rather how her life influenced me. I love you Mom!

My mom was sick. . . often. She developed Mono and Hepatitis C when she was a young adult.Though I don't know all the medical "lingo," I do know that the Hepatitis C causes Cirrhosis of the liver. Through her life, my mother had many health issues due to those two illnesses. In 1992 she had a liver transplant, but her body did not accept it. She died at the age of 42.

Through all her sickness, my mother never "let on" about how badly she felt. She was a very strong and determined woman. She was given a poor prognosis early on, but it did not cause her to give up. She often said she wanted to live long enough to see me graduate high school and get married. . . she did not make it for either.

She was a wonderful mom and all the friends in my neighborhood thought she was the "cool" mom. They would come over and chat with her and I remember one of my friends even bringing her roses when she was sick. She loved buying things for me, but didn't want me to be too spoiled. . . don't know if that worked out ;)

She was very strict with me concerning school. She pushed me to do what she knew I could do. I remember

when I was in 4th grade, I received a C in math. She was NOT happy, but my dad thought it was no big deal. She told him that it would be no big deal if I were a "C" student, but I was and "A" student, so I better get my act together. Needless to say, that was my last "C" until I took a 4 credit Chemistry course in college.

And, speaking of college, there was no question as to whether I would go or not. I grew up knowing I would attend college. Now, mind you, I could never decide what I wanted to "be" when I was an adult, but that's probably because she had me involved in so much - gymnastics, dance class, tennis lessons, soccer, track, piano,

acting, choir, . . .

Anyways, I wanted to share some pictures of my mom. I do still miss her and wish she could have met my children. I know she would have spoiled them rotten! :)

Mawwwiage. . .

I know some of you do not appreciate 'The Princess Bride" due to your young age ;) but to me, it's a classic! Even my boys enjoy watching the movie. My oldest son will say, "No more rhyming, and I mean it!" and my youngest will answer with, "Anyone want a peanut?!?" Hee hee - I think it's so cute.

Speaking of marriage though, I was under the impression that girls were mainly the ones who dreamed of growing up and meeting their "special someone." Recently, I realized otherwise. While tucking my 3 year old into bed the other night, he looked at me and seriously asked, "Mom, can I marry a girl in the morning?"

My other two boys also talk about getting married. The problem is, they do not realize that they may not have yet "met their match." One has a crush on a 13 year old and the other thinks he will marry his sister - lol!

I started thinking today - it's probably a good thing they want to get married. Hopefully, it's due to the fact that my husband and I enjoy being married to each other and they want to experience the same thing. My husband and I have been married 13 1/2 years, and we have not had any screaming matches, have not slammed doors, punched walls, or made the other one sleep on the couch. We certainly have disagreements, but after 13 years, they are few and far between and are resolved quickly.

I'm certain that my in-laws relationship with each other has had an impact on our relationship. They set a great example for their children, and my husband expected our marriage to be just as strong. I think that's part of the problem with marriages today - people don't have high expectations!

When my son says, "When I'm married, maybe I'll wash the dishes to help my wife" - it makes me smile. When they play "make believe" and the "Dad" goes to work while the "Mommy" stays home - it makes me smile. When I hear them say to their sister, "You are so beautiful" - it makes me smile.

I pray that my husband and I will be a great example of a wonderful marriage relationship and that each of my children will marry the proper mate. Apart from our relationship with God, marriage is the closest relationship we will have outside of family. So, it's important to have a good one!

The TERRIBLE Twos

Funny that I should write about the "terrible twos," when I currently do not have any 2 yr. olds in the house, but you shall see where I'm headed. . .

Though our local library refers to them as the "Terrific Twos," most people view this stage in a child's life as quite the opposite - including me! And let me say, my boys all started pushing the boundaries and letting their opinion be heard at various ages. I just want to share our experience and ask that you share any advice you have!

My oldest entered this stage about a month after he turned three. He did not want to go to bed alone, he started telling lies, and developed an "attitude." It seemed to happen overnight, and it only lasted about a month. He was quick to realize that saying, "OK, Mom/Dad" was much better than the alternative - lol! Zack is a "thinker," and I love him for that, I just pray that he doesn't think he is so good that he doesn't need the Lord!

My second son began being defiant at about 15 months, and well, he still is (at age 4!). He knows in his mind that he is doing wrong by saying "no" to Mom or by punching his brother, but his flesh is weak, and he does it anyway. After being disciplined and praying that God will help him, he is always very sorrowful and repentant, but it is just so hard for him to do right. Kyle is a "doer," and I love that about him. I believe that once he is filled with the Holy Spirit, he will be able to do a lot for the Lord!

My youngest son started to push his limits about two months before he turned three. The problem is, sometimes he is just so "stinkin' cute" (as he would say), that he seems to "get away" with his wrong actions. He often will say, "You're beautiful Mommy," just before a brother will run in to complain that he took their toy. Lately, I've been sending him to his room as a form of discipline. Often, when he gets frustrated, he'll fall on the floor and start crying instead of telling me what's wrong. It's as though he can't verbalize the problem, so he just "falls to pieces." Once in his room alone, he calms down within 5 minutes. When he's composed, he'll call for me and say, "I'm all done fussing now, Mom." After that, I let him come out and tell me the problem, and he usually is fine. Evan is a "free spirit" and is happiest when he can make others smile. I pray that the Lord would use him to be an encouragement to others.

I think the most important thing I've learned from the "terrible twos" is that every child is different and therefore, needs to be treated differently. I believe it is very important to have structure in the home and children need to learn to obey authority. Some "act out" because they are really set on doing their own thing while some "act out" due to frustration. It's important to allow children to make choices, but to do so with boundaries. It's not OK with me to allow my child to have a temper tantrum. Children need to learn how to control their frustration and disappointment. What are we teaching children today if they are allowed to "act out" in order to get their way?!? I'm sure many have seen the mom at the store who "gives in" because she is embarrassed by her screaming child. I wonder if that mom realizes that probably 90% of us would rather her stand her ground (and let her child fuss) than teach her child that a "fit" will result in reward.

Raising children is a tough job. Raising them to be responsible, mature, hard-working, God-fearing adults is even tougher! We all need the Lord to help us in this. My oldest is only five. . .so I still have a lot to learn :)