I wanted to write about my dress standards because I read a quote that inspired me. "Dress in front of other men as you would want women to dress in front of your husband." It led me to think that people may not know why I wear skirts/dresses all the time. I don't intend this to be "preachy" at all! I grew up wearing all different types of clothes and did not have my current standard of dress until I was in my early 20's.
Let me start off by telling you that I do NOT have this dress standard because I attend a Baptist church and I do NOT have this standard because my husband. . . or father. . . told me I should. My dress standard was a personal choice that took months to become "settled" in my heart. I will also state, the way I dress is a STANDARD not a CONVICTION. As a former pastor once stated, "If a man with a gun tells you to put on a pair of slacks, PUT THEM ON!" This is not something I will die for . . . or leave friends for. . . or preach at somebody.
OK, so now let me give you some of my history.
I grew up a "tom boy." I loved playing with LEGOS (and they didn't have pink ones back then) and Matchbox cars. I HATED Barbie and only had 1 or 2 other dolls (one of which was a Cabbage Patch Kid my grandmother won for me). I loved climbing trees and playing in mud puddles. I got greasy with my dad when he worked on the car and I climbed up on the roof with him when he was fixing the shingles. I played soccer and tennis. Up until 6th grade, I could run faster than anyone in my class (which included a group of 20 boys) and I could beat all but one in arm wrestling. I loved riding my bike and playing outside and beating up boys :)
Now, none of those things is wrong. I hope my own daughter will enjoy some of those activities (I know she'll learn to beat up boys!). But, the thing with me, is that I didn't want to be a "lady" AT ALL! I hated dresses. . .oh, and those Easter hats! I didn't paint my nails or wear bows in my hair. I didn't dress up like a princess or read fairy tales (I did read a lot of Nancy Drew though). I did not want to learn to cook or sew or clean. Ironically, I did like ballet (but not the tutu part). ;)
So, I grew up wearing pants and often put my hair in a ponytail. When I started going to a Christian school, the dress code required me to wear knee length skirts and nylons - blech! Needless to say, I did not own any and my mom had to take me on a shopping trip. Through high school and college, I had the same dress code, so I obeyed the rules, but it was not my personal standard.
When I was in my 20's, I attended a church that "preached" standards. By that, I mean, the pastor would give Biblical reasons why he had certain standards in his life (not smoking or drinking, not listening to certain music, how his family dressed, etc.). I think it was the first time I had heard such preaching.
The Lord started working in my heart and led to two thoughts that really formed my dress standard. First of all, I wanted the way I dress to be modest and secondly, I wanted it to show others that I am a lady.
As for being modest, I know there are some who will say, "If a man looks at you the wrong way, that is his problem." WRONG! It is not his problem - it's his natural tendency. He is a man. That is how God created him. If you have a man who does not notice a woman in tight jeans or a low cut shirt, then I'm sorry. Men were made to be attracted by sight. And on a side note, that's why you should stay attractive for your husband :)
Others will say, that dressing "does not a lady make." And you are correct - to some degree. I am a woman no matter how I dress, but for me, dressing in skirts helps me to act more like a lady. When I wear skirts, I don't sit with my legs spread open. When I wear skirts I don't bend over with my behind in the air. When I wear skirts, I usually "feel" more dressy and therefore "hold" myself differently. I command more respect.
Take for a minute, the lady in Proverbs 31. She was a hard worker, no doubt, but she also earned the respect of others. She bought fields and sold linen. I assume this means she did business with men - which was not the custom in those days. That leads me to believe they respected her. And also, she didn't run around in "house clothes." The Bible states she dressed in "silk and purple." She didn't look like a "street rat." She had wisdom and was virtuous.
Now, I said all that to explain my dress standards. I do not intend this to change anyone else's mind. I have many friends who dress differently than I do. They are still my friends, and I do appreciate the fact that most of them dress modestly, even if their standard is different than mine.
Our pastor has said, "What do you think when you see a lady in a skirt?" The answer? She's a Christian (or at least she's religious). How you dress identifies you (whether you like it or not). I'm proud to think that people may see me and think "Christian" instead of seeing me and thinking "Soccer Mom." Although, to be honest, most people who see me probably think "Baby Factory" - lol!
Anyway, that's my two cents and you can take it or leave it. I just felt like taking the chance to explain my dress standard. Everyone has a standard, whether they can explain it or not. I am glad I know why I do what I do, and that I am able to give an answer to others!
Great post, Heather! I agree with you 100%. I believe as Christians, it is our duty to dress in a way that would be pleasing to the Lord and a good testimony to others.
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